Parenting is a responsible task. Even before you become a parent, it is important to ask yourself about the readiness to be a parent. There could be many learning and unlearning each one of us need to make to practice good parenting. This doesn’t need to stress us. A little inclination to learn and change can easily get you there.
We look at role models for inspiration. All of us at many points in our life had some or the other role models. We observe consciously and subconsciously how our role models conduct and try to follow their behavior- sometimes blindly.
Kids spend a giant share of their time with parents. Especially when they are babies and toddlers. During their initial stage, kids get to see a lot of their parents. So parents depicting right behavior create a kind of permanent imprints in the little minds.
Some of the impactful role model behaviors are given here for any parent to look at to practice to be a good role model for their children.
Boundaries are important for children to learn limits. Set boundaries without hindering their instinct to learn and grow. Growth happens through many activities such as touching, smelling and doing.
Being a panicky parent would mean saying ‘no’ to many things in an effort to control. The impending reason could be the worry about the child’s safety. However, too many restrictions would stop the child from experiential learning.
Give your child small responsibilities to handle. Stacking back the toys, keeping the books back in its original place after reading, clearing the plates after a meal or snacks are good to begin with.
And you walking the talk would be exactly about being the right role modeling.
Life of everyone comprises of good and bad as well as success and failure. It’s not essentially needed to hide your life from your kid. They need to see you and understand you as a whole person.
Share your stories and the life events as suitable to situations and contexts. Tell them how you have seen the situation at that point of your life. Let them know the moments you have succeeded and also moments you have failed. Share how you have looked at your failures and took decisions based on it in your later life.
Children need to know that life is about everything. It is important to know that failure is also a part of it. There is no need to develop a fear for failure. What is important is not about being failed, but about being persistent to bounce back to achieve what one sets as a goal.
What is the first thing a baby do when born? It’s to cry.
What a loud way to seek attention from parents. The moment you pay attention and do the essential care and pampering, the child quickly stops crying. Sometimes, even a caring touch is enough to sooth the baby.
Though we always crave to receive love, what we need to understand is also about giving love. There are research evidences that show that giving love is more beneficial to self than receiving love. Harvard researches support these arguments.
Such studies continue to bring in evidences that a person feels happier when giving love than receiving.
You can also teach children the silent language of love. Telling your child how you felt love based on her/his action such as “I felt good when you brought me water to drink “ are good examples to inculcate these behaviors.
According to science more than 90% people does not achieve their goals. We can reflect this by looking at our own life. Just look at the simple New Year resolutions we take. How many times we have managed to break the goals we set.
Teaching your child to set goals shall help them being more goal focused in life. Helping them to set goals is about helping them being responsible for their action. It shall help the child develop a ‘can do’ attitude.
Simple process that the parent could try would be:
Many parents use authoritative tone with their children. Arguments and loud noises prevailing, listening suffers.
It’s important to approach a conversation peacefully. Voice control is very important. Connect with your child’s state of emotion without you quickly raising your voice.
Talk after listening to your child. When you talk, encourage your child to listen. Instead of a ‘no’ give alternatives, which are helpful. This would help the child the art and science of evaluating the alternatives.
There are many small acts that your child would learn from you that have profound impact in building a lifetime value.
Planting a sapling and nurturing it with water and fertilizers, making a kitchen garden, preparing a bird bath during summer are acts that would connect your kid with nature. It shall make them understand how important it is to coexist with the nature.
Respecting resources is another element that your child should learn. Not wasting water, buying and storing food that is more that needed, wasting food etc., are not a good role model behavior.
How you manage money is what your child observe and probably learn. Helping your child with the concept budget would help her/him treat money responsibly.
Showing gratitude for what they have and giving respect to people around are all good values they should learn from you.