relationship

These 12 Dating Tips Are A Must Know, If You Are Dating Now

Sheena Joseph | Mar 08 2019
Image credits: Twitter

Hit by the dating pangs? You are not alone.

Dating isn’t rocket science. But, it isn’t a walk in the park either. As much as it is a personal affair, and completely depends on the chemistry between two individuals, some guidelines will surely help. All the efforts you put into choosing the attire can go down the drain if the smaller details in your behaviour put off the other person. Here are some tips to ensure that you and your potential companion have a chance at the relationship that you both deserve.

1. Start with a clean state

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The first and foremost rule of dating is perhaps this one. If you are not over your ex, do not get involved with someone. Deal with your loss and grieve your past relationships. Unless you are in peace with yourself and your life, dragging another person into it will not do either of you any good. Bringing emotional baggage into a date is going to stop you from being yourself and getting to know the other person. So, make sure that your slate is clean before you start dating.

2. Be brave to make the first move

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Time to bust a myth. Making the first move is not a man’s job. It is not a woman’s job either. The first move belongs to whoever is interested. It does take courage to put yourself out there without knowing how the other person thinks of you. But, would you rather spend weeks (or months) thinking about the ‘could have’ and ‘what if’ of your past? It is important to understand that you cannot escape the possibility of rejection and heartbreak at any point in a relationship. This is inevitable when the relationship isn’t mutually accepted. The point is to be bold, seize the day and never regret it.

3. Textationship is good

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It is the era of dating apps. The choices presented to you are based on several factors ranging from common interests to geographical proximity. While it is great to explore your options, it comes with a lot of questions. How do I test out compatibility? When is the right time to meet him? The answer is simple. Talk to him until you actually want to meet. Modern day dating is a textationship than a relationship. Have enough conversations and get to know your date before going into it.

4. Stop the urge to over text

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It can be quite confusing in the beginning stages of dating. It is normal to be enthusiastic about new love. But do not go overboard in expressing how much you are interested. In simple terms, do not answer one text with ten. Communication is key to every relationship. But, ten texts may scare the other person away. The possibility of ‘not being on the same page’ and ‘unknowingly leading on the other person’ is scary to most people.

5. Be yourself

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The major turn off on a date which can be a deal breaker in all circumstances is bragging. As much as you want to impress your date, it is important to let them know the real you. Endless talks about how much money you make, how elite your family is, and how you topped every single exam ever are not ideal topics for conversation under given circumstances. Intimidating your date or boring him is probably is about missing a chance.

6. Two-way Communication

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Whether you are in a textationship or on a first date, talking about yourself and getting to know the other person is equally important. Always remember that you cannot be in a relationship without two people. If your companion wanted to keep listening to someone and not talk, he would stay home and watch TV. The age-old saying – listening is the key to a successful relationship still hold true. No matter which century you live in, there is no shortcut around that.

7. First impressions are important

Your appearance on the first date is a factor that you cannot neglect. It is not only about clothes. Modern day dating etiquette is about good manners and being considerate. This includes making an effort to look decent on the date. Going on a date and finding out that your guest looks like not caring for self isn’t a pleasant experience.

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Image credits: freepik

Taking a shower, putting on clothes that define you, and smelling good should do the trick. However, clothes are only the beginning of it. Everything from how you talk the hostess at the restaurant to whining about tipping the valet is going to leave an impression.

8. Find a comfortable venue

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If you are the one picking the venue for your date, be sure to find a place that will be comfortable for your new friend as well. Do not hesitate to ask more and more questions about their comfort zone and interests. Think about your own interests and places that you are comfortable with. Find a middle ground. It is important to realise that getting to know each other is an ongoing process. Being in an uncomfortable situation will prevent people from opening up. Why spoil the progress with a lazy choice of restaurant?

9. Leave your phone alone

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Is there anything more annoying than indifference? Unless you are trying to repel your date, do not keep checking your phone. The best behaviour is not to touch the phone at all. Invest your time and energy in the person you are with. Have great conversations.

10. Share the bill

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There is no big secret here. Some men assume that a gentleman never let the lady pay. But, the times have changed, and most people would like to be treated as equals. The way to a woman’s heart is paved with equality is the new mantra. In fact, sharing the bill is one of the easiest ways to establish a zone where you both are comfortable with each other. If there is any presence of obligation or awkwardness on the date, sharing the bill clears the table.

11. Careful with the ‘ex’ conversation

There is no easy way to have this conversation. And you cannot avoid it forever. The trick is to be vulnerable yet confident. Talking about your ex on the first day is a very bad idea. You have to find the right time. And that is not an easy feat. Before you take this big step, ask yourself these questions – Am I ready to talk about it? Is he ready to hear about it?

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It is not necessary that you both are ready to talk about it at the same time. Give each other time and space. No need to be obsessed with the person who hurt you. Be aware that you are letting your new friend know about an important part of your past.

12. Focus on the journey, not destination

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Most people are eager to jump to the end too soon. And they often forget to have fun and enjoy the present. Do not think of marriage or kids at the beginning of the relationship. Living in the present is as important as long term plans. People with one eye in the distant future may even miss the red flags in the present. Try to evolve with the relationship and find happiness during the journey.