We are in ever search of what makes a relationship click. In general people are optimistic when they are in a dating relationship. When the dating relationship gets into the commitment of marriage, sustaining the same warmth and happiness in relationship becomes difficult for many.

As someone rightly said marriage is ‘work in progress’. So how do you build a great relationship? It’s not difficult to grow together in a relationship with your partner. All you need is to build good trust and commitment mindfully.

Here are a few tips that would help you build a happy relationship.

  1. It’s important to appreciate

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”, said Psychologist William James. He says, there are not many who does not like appreciation.

Research conducted among long term-married couples has seen ‘appreciation ‘ as one of the key factors identified by them as the success factor of their long and happy relationship. 

You might tend to take the many kind acts of your partner for granted or tend to ignore them thinking that ‘this is expected’.

So next time when you see those good deeds by your partner- be it big or small- be open to pass a few words of appreciation. Be it that slab of chocolate or a beach side ride, a word of appreciation would make the person feel that you value her/his efforts.

   2. Know what is Empathetic Understanding

Studies say that when your partner is in stress or in difficult emotional state of mind, simply understanding your partner is not good enough.

Research done by University of California, Santa Barbara suggest that in such situations, it’s important that you recognize and care about their suffering.

According to the lead scientist of the University of California, the specific and  accurate understanding of our partner's inner mind, together with compassion, helps to provide the kind of support that is wanted and needed.

   3. The importance of Stopping to Criticize

If there is one big reason that is detrimental in making and breaking a relationship, it is criticizing. It’s human to sometime get into the mode of criticizing an incident or behavior. It is ok not to feel guilty about it. However, constant criticism is a thing to be concerned about.

Clinical Psychologist, Steven Stosny says, his clinical experiences reveals that criticism is the most critical disaster that ruins love relationship. 

Constant criticism could mean that you are not appreciating your partner the way that the person is or vice versa. When in such situation, it is important to evaluate to talk to your partner. This is also to evaluate realistically how involved the partners are in that relationship.

   4. Build trust mindfully

If you have underestimated the importance of trust in your relationships, you got it totally wrong. Whole lot of new studies under the branch ‘attachment theory’ suggests that trust is crucial in relationship. This is very true for romantic relationship and parent-child relationship.

A study conducted in the Northwestern University and Redeemer University College also says that people who are trusting by nature enjoy better relationship. 

So how to build trust? Mindfully put in efforts to earn trust. Some actions such as delivering on promise, communicating openly and being forgiving are behaviors that boost up trust

   5. Spending time together and also away

Having time for each other is key. But how much time to sped together? It depends on the couples and their need - one rule might not fit all.

How is this ‘together’ time spent is also important. It should also be a decision together taken by the couple. Some activities what one partner enjoy might be ‘stressful’ for the other. Doing household activities together and unwinding over a conversation are all choices.

Too much of together time might not be good either.

Spending time apart is as crucial as spending time together. This spending time apart need might be different for different people. What is important is to recognize this need to spend time apart and to appreciate the need to have that space.