Have you ever dated someone who kept you in a state of uncertainty? You were hopeful and in love with the guy. But, after weeks or months of talks and laugh, he left like it was nothing. And, you wondered for weeks how did you not see this coming and what went wrong. The reason is a simple one. He wasn’t just that into you.
While you were looking for a full-fledged conversation, he wasn’t. While you were in love, he wasn’t. Maybe, he liked you enough to talk to you but didn’t love you. This is not a pretty case scenario. The sooner you get out of it, the better. But, figuring out if he is reluctant or just shy to make a move can be tricky.
Here are 12 signs that say he is not that into you.
If he is never the first one to call or text, you need to take a deeper look into his behaviour. A man who is interested in you will want to talk to you. He will miss you when you are not around. It is only normal for him to send a text. But, you have been seeing this behaviour in your partner, and you doubt him to be just shy. Worry not. There is a trick to resolve the matter for once and for all. Go through your chat and check out if you have been initiating conversations. You have a lot to talk to him because you love him. If he is only responding to your statements or only going with the flow, and doesn’t have anything particular to contribute to the conversation, it is a clear sign that he is not in love with you.
Men may or may not want a lot of things. But, they surely want to spend as much as time possible with the lady they adore. He would want to get to know you, have fun with you, explore the possibilities of your relationship. If he never has time for you, chances are he is not that into you. If he isn’t craving your presence and isn’t excited to see your face, you are barking up the wrong tree.
You don’t prefer watching cheesy romantic comedies or horror movies, but he always picks those for movie nights, that calls for a closer look at your relationship. There is no way both of you will have the exact same interests. But, you meet halfway through. Some days movie will be of his choice and some days yours. But, if your boyfriend doesn’t care at all about learning about your interests, he isn’t interested in learning about you too.
You guys talk all the time about a lot of things. But, he always fails to recall references from past conversations even after prompting clues from you. It is as if he doesn’t remember the conversation at all. This is mostly because he never was actually participating in the conversation. His focus while spending time with you is elsewhere. It hasn’t occurred to him that communicating with you is the key to the success of the relationship. He may not even have thought of the future of the relationship because he is not serious about it.
Men are keen on impressing the woman they want in their life. With or without reason, it is a commonly seen trait in men. Hence, if he hasn’t made efforts to impress you, it is a clear sign that he is not that into you. What you think of him is not a concern for him. It is okay if he isn’t obsessing over your approval of his personality. That shows confidence. But, not caring at all about your feelings towards him and not trying to express his feelings towards you are not a healthy sign.
If your boyfriend is always available for the sleepover plans but isn’t keen on talking to you, he came over just for sex. As much as sex is an important part of relationships, so is talking. The intimacy in a relationship is built by sharing your thoughts and experiences. Unless you are comfortable talking to him about your entire day and he also talks to you about his day, and you both listen to each other, the getting-to-know-each-other process will not move forward. If he doesn’t want to talk to you, kick him out without second thoughts.
Also Read: How To Get Over A Break-Up? 15 Great Tips
When a guy you are interested in flirts you, you love it because the gesture encourages your emotions, and that is what you want. But, observe if he is talking to everyone the same way he is talking to you. If he is, he is not into you. If he is in love with you, he will be treating you differently because you are special to him. If he is flirting with other women too, you better leave him to it and move on with your life.
While making plans, his time and engagements are always more important than yours. You always end up postponing your girl gang trips for him, and he never does the same. If he is not being considerate of your time and interests, it means that he doesn’t care for you. It has never occurred to him, or he has chosen to ignore the fact that you too are an individual. Since he is not in love with you as you are in love with him, making compromises always falls on to your shoulders. Somewhere in your heart, you also know the day you stop making compromises, you and he will not be hanging out anymore.
When a man falls in love, he will be keen on knowing your heart. He will want to know what you think about certain things. If he never asks for your opinion, it is because he doesn’t want it. It could be because he hasn’t started seeing you as part of his life. If he ever makes fun of the opinions that you put forward or simply ignore them without even acknowledging them, know that he isn’t excited about your existence.
You have been hanging out with him for a few weeks. But, he can’t even remember your last name. It is a huge red flag. If he is interested in you, he will be paying close attention to you. If your guy can’t remember the food allergies you mentioned on the first date or the college you go to, you were not the centre of his attention during your dates.
It has been a few months since you started dating. But, he hasn’t told his friends about you. They don’t know that you exist. He is not warm to the idea of you meeting them either even though you are ready. It could be because he doesn’t see you in his long-term plans. You bonding with his friends or family will only complicate things when you guys eventually break up.
A woman’s biggest strength is her intuition. If a man isn’t paying enough attention to you or he isn’t returning your affection, you will know. If you have a tiny voice in the back of your mind that says he is not that into you, you should trust your intuitions. It may be disappointing. But, it will always be better than the heartbreak that follows a relationship which constantly requires your efforts to hold it together.