Taking a break is not the same as breaking up. It means taking time for yourself and your partner when you are in a difficult spot. This is actually good for the relationship as it helps a person understand themselves and grow accordingly. It also gives one time to get back on their feet in terms of career and education. You can also reflect on the nature of your relationship and make decisions accordingly. If you still feel love for your partner then your relationship and bond are stronger than you think.
There is one thing childhood, school life, and college life has in common - friendships. However, a lot of people drift away from old friends due to career, relocation, adulthood, and family. It is important to not feel guilty about this even though you feel their loss. There is always time to revive old friendships, and it is natural for initial contact to fall flat. Some tips to re-establish the bond are to involve a common friend, do not be over-eager, plan a short first meeting, and cherish old memories.
Long-distance relationships are known to be challenging. People worry about letting their partners know that they miss them without sounding clingy. Milestones are sometimes forgotten. Technology can help you keep the spark and chemistry alive. Some apps to try are TouchNote (to make digital postcards with pictures and personalised messages), Lovedays (a countdown app to remind you of special days), Nujj (send your partner ‘nudges’ by shaking your phone), and Happy Couple (a quiz-style app to ask fun questions).
The first step to getting out of a toxic relationship, be it a romantic one or a friendship, is to recognise what is wrong with it. In every toxic friendship, there will be red flags that people are too ignorant to see right from the beginning. However, making note of them will help you leave such a friend behind. Some such red flags are 'they constantly put you down', 'you feel drained after an interaction', 'they only reach out to vent', they devalue your problems', and 'they don't respect your boundaries'.
A mother's identity is much more complex than the image of unconditional love and unwavering support. They live in a deeply misogynistic world and most of them have the same toxic ideas embedded in the belief system. Most mothers pass down the matrilineal pain to their daughters. It even has a name: 'mother wound'. Young women end up internalising the toxic ideas of 'good girl' and disempowering messages. They also neglect and devalue themselves. This shapes who they love and how they behave in a relationship.
Trauma bonding is an abusive and distressing relationship with brief moments of positive reinforcement. Most people who find it hard to leave toxic relationships are victims of trauma bonding. Psychotherapist Jourdan Travers describes such a connection as "one minute things are good, and then the next, they're not." The biggest sign of trauma bonding is looking past the red flags for the honeymoon phase. Despite the occasional love bombing, you also feel drained and your partner avoids open communication.
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